Southern Lady Code

The bestselling author of American Housewife is back with a fiercely funny collection of essays on marriage and manners, thank-you notes and three-ways, ghosts, gunshots, gynecology, and the Calgon-scented, onion-dipped, monogrammed art of living as a Southern Lady.

Helen Ellis has a mantra: "If you don't have something nice to say, say something not-so-nice in a nice way." Say "weathered" instead of "she looks like a cake left out in the rain." Say "early-developed" instead of "brace face and B cups." And for the love of Coke Salad, always say "Sorry you saw something that offended you" instead of "Get that stick out of your butt, Miss Prissy Pants." In these twenty-three raucous essays Ellis transforms herself into a dominatrix Donna Reed to save her marriage, inadvertently steals a $795 Burberry trench coat, witnesses a man fake his own death at a party, avoids a neck lift, and finds a black-tie gown that gives her the confidence of a drag queen. While she may have left her home in Alabama, married a New Yorker, forgotten how to drive, and abandoned the puffy headbands of her youth, Helen Ellis is clinging to her Southern accent like mayonnaise to white bread, and offering readers a hilarious, completely singular view on womanhood for both sides of the Mason-Dixon.

Cel mai bine vandut autor al American Housewife s-a intors cu o colectie extrem de amuzanta de eseuri despre casatorie si maniere, note de multumire si in trei moduri, fantome, focuri de arma, ginecologie si arta de a trai ca un parfum de Calgon, inmuiat in ceapa, monogramata. o doamna sudica. Helen Ellis are o mantra: „Daca nu ai ceva frumos de spus, spune ceva nu atat de frumos intr-un mod frumos”. Spuneti „intemperiat” in loc de „arata ca un tort lasat in ploaie”. Spuneti „dezvoltat de timpuriu” in loc de „fata de bretele si cupe B.” Si pentru dragostea de Coke Salad, spuneti intotdeauna „Imi pare rau ca ati vazut ceva care v-a jignit” in loc de „Scoateti bastonul din fund, domnisoara Prissy Pants”. In aceste douazeci si trei de eseuri grele Ellis se transforma intr-o dominatoare Donna Reed pentru a-si salva casatoria, fura din neatentie un trench Burberry de 795 dolari, asista la un barbat care isi falsifica propria moarte la o petrecere, evita ridicarea gatului si gaseste o cravata neagra halat care ii confera increderea unei drag queen.