There I Am

Brain on Fire meets Carry On, Warrior, There I Am is an arresting inspirational memoir about one woman’s journey from chronic pain, addiction, and hopelessness to finding joy, redemption, and healing.

At seventeen years old, Ruthie Lindsey is hit by an ambulance near her home in rural Louisiana. She’s given a five percent chance of survival and one percent chance of walking again. One month later after a spinal fusion surgery, Ruthie defies the odds, leaving the hospital on her own two feet.

Just a few years later, newly married and living in Nashville, Ruthie begins to experience debilitating pain. Her case confounds doctors and after numerous rounds of testing, imaging, and treatment, they prescribe narcotic painkillers—lots of them. Ruthie has become bedridden, addicted, and hopeless, when a chance fifty dollar X-ray reveals that the wire used to fuse her spine is piercing her brain stem. Without another staggeringly expensive experimental surgery, she will be paralyzed, but in many ways she already is.

Ruthie goes into the hospital an addict in chronic pain and leaves that way. She can still walk, but has no idea where she’s going. As her life unravels, Ruthie returns home to Louisiana and sets out on a journey to learn joy again. She trades fentanyl for sunsets and morphine for wildflowers, weaning herself off of the drugs and beginning the process of healing—of coming home to her body.

Raw and redemptive, There I Am is not just about the magic of optimism, but the work of it. Ruthie’s extraordinary memoir urges us to unlearn the stories of brokenness that we tell ourselves and embrace the wholeness, joy, and healing that live inside all of us.

Brain on Fire intalneste Carry On, Warrior, There I Am este un memoriu de inspiratie inspirat despre calatoria unei femei de la durerea cronica, dependenta si lipsa de speranta pana la gasirea bucuriei, rascumpararii si vindecarii. La varsta de saptesprezece ani, Ruthie Lindsey este lovita de o ambulanta langa casa ei din Louisiana rurala. Ea a primit o sansa de cinci la suta de supravietuire si un procent de sanse sa mearga din nou.